Desiring and bonding with men made extremely costly for the common Western man

If there is so much of freedom in the West, why is desiring a man made so costly for the normal male, that one cannot do it without making that big crossover into the 'gay' ghetto and all the extreme social and individual costs involved with it, including the loss of manhood, and imposition of social queerhood, loss of the company of other normal, masculine males, that one is biologically a part of, and the forced company of queer males, that one is biologically different from and cannot relate with, even when he has to share the same identity and thus stereotypes with him. Why can't a normal man desire and bond sexually with another man being where he is, in the mainstream, straight world -- what is the pressing need to define 'straight' or normal as 'heterosexual'? When is the West ever going to look into the conspiracy behind all this?