Amit (my 21 yrs old colleague, name changed) keeps talking about girls and women. right now he's talking about how he almost 'set' (pataoed/ flirted with) a punjaban aunty on the bus. But, he will never ever talk about anything that he ever does with men -- i mean things like doing masti or similar flirtations with men. This is because there is no space in this heterosexual society for men to talk about their desire for men. This gives a false pictture of 'heterosexual' men. If he's ever probed on this he will not only deny having such a need but even say a few hostile things. But, he flirts with me all the time. And I know that men flirt with each other on the bus all the time, so Amit is not a one-off case.

The problem is how to break this vicious circle. Unless men learn to talk about it, they will not be given this space to desire other men. But, on the other hand, they will not feel empowered to talk about it unless they are given the space.