Since they gave social space only to feminine gendered males to validly desire a man, only feminine males are seen in the society who desire other men, since they are relatively open about it. Men hide it and fight with it all the time, and deny and disown a desire for other men, so it seems there are hardly any regular men who like other men, when the fact is that there is hardlly any regular man who doesn't like other men.

Men are never so happy and carefree than when they are amongst there own, ie with other men. And that is when they are at their sexual best too.

Today, onboard bus no.33 I saw 3 young, working class men (skilled labourers probably), who were just enjoying each other's company. They were playfully fighting amongst each other and in the process also having a lot of masti.

The eldest of them all (around 25 yrs) kept hitting the youngest man (around 17-18) on his thighs, in order to 'incite' him to engage in playful wrestling with him, which he did. The youngest guy was also the most macho. He actually hit the older guy, pretending to be annoyed. But that it was playful was clear from the fact that after a while he just pushed the other guy forward on his seat and laid his head ever so delicately on his back and pretended to fall asleep there. His face showed that he felt like in heaven on the other guy's shoulders. The other guy, in order to 'respect' the roles of social manhood, pretended to be troubled by such affection, and protested a couple of times, without meaning to push him off, because he too was enjoying it immensely, as was clear from his face. He complained that the younger guy's mouth was stinking... but didn't move to push him away.

The third guy meanwhile kept touching the youngest guy all over playfully. They were all really enjoying themselves. I have never seen men so happy in the company of women.

I could instantly feel what men-only spaces mean to men.

Men not only fight and suppress their attradtion for men, they hide their need for the company of the man they love, their feelings of jealousy, sex, loyalty, shame, their disinterest and sometimes abhorance for sex with women.

what kind of men will enjoy two women having it. The heterosexual society thrusts stupid notions of 'straighthood' (manhood) on men, and men, like fools, compete amongst themselves to live up to those expectations. Well, not that they have a choice.

The third sex were offered this space to desire men and they jumped at it. They were already vocal about their sexual need for men, so they shouted as loud as they could and made it seem as if they were "men who loved men". This took off a lot of the stigma that they had suffered because of (1) their feminity (2) their preoccupation with passive receptive sex. Since this identity was broader. It did not acknowledge the feminity -- at least as far as the definitions were concerned, nor did it make any differentiation between desiring to be inserted or to insert or neither of these at all. So, the third sex, especially those who were in the twilight zone, who had some masculinity as well -- apart from femininity (those that today, we also refer to as meterosexuals) -- were greatly empowered by this arrangement.

But for the vast majority of men this third sex 'gay' space and identity is simply unacceptable.

Amit (my 21 yrs old colleague, name changed) keeps talking about girls and women. right now he's talking about how he almost 'set' (pataoed/ flirted with) a punjaban aunty on the bus. But, he will never ever talk about anything that he ever does with men -- i mean things like doing masti or similar flirtations with men. This is because there is no space in this heterosexual society for men to talk about their desire for men. This gives a false pictture of 'heterosexual' men. If he's ever probed on this he will not only deny having such a need but even say a few hostile things. But, he flirts with me all the time. And I know that men flirt with each other on the bus all the time, so Amit is not a one-off case.

The problem is how to break this vicious circle. Unless men learn to talk about it, they will not be given this space to desire other men. But, on the other hand, they will not feel empowered to talk about it unless they are given the space.

The basic fear of the forces that control the society, to not give man to man sexuality even an inch of space in the mainstream -- something which the oldtimers openly talk about, but the modern heterosexual world is wary of admitting -- is that if you give it even a little space, men will take to it like anything, and eventually noone will want to go to women. By noone, they actually mean few would, because there'd always be times when some men would want to go to women even if they are in satisfying sexual relations with other men.

But, really, at least in today's world, when we really don't need any more human population, what is wrong if that happens. today, due to advances in medicine, infant mortality is really low, and you don't need to bind men into reproduction like you needed to do in the pre-industrialisation days.

So, why don't we just give man-to-man sexuality its due space in the mainstream once again, and liberate the men. No one would lose anything. Neither the men, nor women. They both will gain immensely, especially men will get back their right to be men. And the population will be controlled too.

It is very tough for young men to indulge in their softer side, or other parts of them (that many not be all that soft but is considered so by the society by relating it to femininity) unless and until they've proved their manhood by showing their sexual capability with women.

In the past it could have been occasional proof, or even one time proof, through marriage, but in the heterosexual society, it has to be a constant proof.